


Let me drown in you

by thekinoist (generalllymild)



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: M/M, Polyamory, also teasing, also they're in college, boys being overwhelmed bc so much love!!, boys being soft and in love!!, fluff and smut and angst, in that order, just pentagon polyamory basically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-01 17:04:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 9,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13299300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/generalllymild/pseuds/thekinoist
Summary: One shots of Pentagon's life living together;"With Kino sleeping on his chest, E’Dawn dragged his phone out from his coat pocket; messages were waiting for him; Hongseok asking if they crashed their car, Hui asking if they were still alive, Wooseok asking if they’re fucking without him, Yanan asking if he stole his popcorn. E’Dawn almost just answered yes to all of them."





	1. If I could, I would bottle my feelings and show you how they're overflowing

Yanan never knew joining college would involve so many feelings. If he knew, maybe he would have stayed in China and lived a normal, neutral life, instead of constantly feeling like being drowned by his feelings, his love for his roommates, lovers, best friends; feeling like death is close whenever someone as much as gets a papercut. But if he’s being honest, he wouldn’t have. He wouldn’t change a thing, as the cliches say. He wouldn’t have it any other way. 

 

The thing is, Yanan should have known. Should have known, when the apartment for all 10 of them only had three bedrooms. Should have known, when they introduced themselves to each other the first time and when the air didn’t stop being electric even after they grew comfortable with each others company. Maybe too comfortable. Should have known, when he saw their faces and couldn’t look away, breath being stolen by their beauty. Should have known when six hours after meeting each other they dragged every mattress from the beds and closets into the living room so they didn’t have to separate behind closed doors. They told themselves it was because having three or four grown bodies sleeping in the same bed, no matter how big, would have been more than a little crowded. Surely. 

 

Even if Yanan were fluent in korean he doesn’t think he could ever describe how he feels for his boys. Yanan has seen it, when they’ve drank a little and Hongseok gets all sappy and tries to tell them. How the love inside him is overflowing and covering every surface in their house, the school, his life. How he doesn’t want it to go away. How going home for christmas is hard, being away from them, no matter how much he loves his family. How rage bubbles inside him whenever someone says half a bad word to one of them. How he can’t sleep alone anymore. But even Hongseok, majoring in literature, the brain of their little group, can’t find the words. So the others just hold him tighter and understand. 

 

At first Yanan thought Hui was bossy. All 9 of them listened to him and his word was law. Sure, the maknaes made fun of him and run around even when he yelled at them to go to sleep, but there was something about him. When E’Dawn had an argument with Shinwon about which cereal was the best and Hui said it was enough, they quieted faster than thought possible. When a jerk from their school accidentally bumped into Yeo One and made him drop his phone, the screen cracking, Hui was the one to hold Yanan back from going to punch the jerk’s face in, by just laying a hand on his arm. Hui hold some kind of power over their group, yes, but it wasn’t that he was bossy. The others gave him the power, gladly. They made him the leader. 

 

\--

 

Hui felt like time was dead. Everything was still, mouths open, laughing soundlessly, hands stopped half way between bowls and tongues. Hui looked at the 9 of his, from above, a bird or a plane. With stolen eyes, but with his mind; his mind, playing a ballad, and maybe the song had Hongseok's voice. The boys were sitting around their kitchen table which barely hold them all, legs tangling with each others', elbows bumping, fingers on knees and messes of hair. Hui sat on the end, a fond smile covering his whole face, making his body glow like sunlight. His other arm playing with Wooseok's and other messing with the hole on Yanan's skinny jeans. There was a bowl of cereal in front of him, but he was too busy living and loving for something so irrelevant and ordinary. He had all the time in the world. Or so he liked to think, had to think. If he would think about how time run and run, how Jinho could want to move away for a better job or how Yeo One or Wooseok could get injured and leave him forever or how Hongseok could find someone he wanted more than them, and Hui just wouldn't do that. Wouldn't think. So, in his mind, he had all the time to sit and stare at them, his wonder, his magical boys. And oh, would he stop the time anytime for them. But who believed in time anyway.

 

\--


	2. Mistletoes? Yes-toes!

 

First day of November, Yeo One and Hongseok hang mistletoes all around the house. The next week, they run around kissing every clueless victim every time someone accidentally walked under one of the mistletoes. And it was often, because there truly were a lot of mistletoes. Slowly, the others learned where the traps where, but they walked under them anyway. Maybe even more than necessary, stopping under them as if by accident. The others also gave Yeo One and Hongseok a taste of their own medicine, catching them walking under a mistletoe and kissing them silly.

 

“Do you really need a reason to kiss us when you could just do it anyway?” Kino laughed when he first was surprised with a mistletoe attack. 

 

“No, but it’s more fun, isn’t it?” Yeo One giggled and kissed Kino again. Kino just hummed against him, agreeing. He quickly become the one who used the mistletoes to his advantage the most, running up to the boys from behind and yelling “surprise!”. Yuto and Shinwon, on the other hand, suffered the most from this, just because they were the scaredy cats of the house. Their surprised yelps where heard multiple times a day, amusing the others. E’Dawn pretended not to care about the mistletoes, but on the winter mornings Yanan could feel his arms coming up to hug his waist, and when he turned around he got a good morning kiss from him. Jinho also got E’Dawn’s love often, E’Dawn rising on his tippy toes to kiss the top of this head. Jinho would pout, insisting that he isn’t that tiny, that he’s still growing, but smiling all the same.

 


	3. Work too well done

 

Kino had a thing for muscles. Sometimes he blamed Hongseok for being so well build, saying Hongseok is only working out to tease him. Hongseok would walk around the apartment without a shirt, making Kino whine and throw raisins at him. “I’m trying to concentrate on my assignment, you asshole! I thought your job as our Hongmom was to make sure we succeed in our studies!”, he would yell at Hongseok. At least Yuto knew how to act like a decent human being, keeping his clothes on, usually. Sometimes Shinwon and Yeo One would come to Kino after going to the gym and ask him if they had abs yet, just to make fun of him. Kino would say no, but he would notice how Yeo One’s biceps have gotten bigger again, and he would gulp. They really were the worst.

 

“C’mon, it’s gym time. Wooseok, get up. No, Dawnie, you can’t sleep for five more minutes. Don’t you want to look good for our Kino?” Hongseok would wake the others up, already in his work out clothes. Kino would throw his pillow at him, whining “hyungg~” and maybe their departure would be delayed for a bit. Just because, you know. It’s the hyungs job to take care of the maknaes, right?

 

\--

 

Sometimes Kino didn’t know when to stop. He would stay behind after their classes and practice dance until Hui literally dragged him home. “You’ll get hurt, Kino-ah. Don’t overwork yourself”, Hui would say.

 

“Don’t worry, hyung. I know how to take care of myself, you know that.” But they all also knew Kino liked testing his limits a bit too much. He would try just how many hours he could dance before his head would start to feel dizzy, before the others would start to worry too much. 

 

Sometimes he teased the others, especially Yanan, because it affected him the most. He liked to try how long could he give just a little, never touching him properly. He whispered in his ear or spoke loudly so all of them could hear what Kino would like to do to him. He would place his hands on his upper thigh in the school cafeteria or in the movie theater, laughing at Yanan’s frustrated wiggling. Try and see how long it would take for Yanan to lose his cool, to make him beg for Kino or to get mad. 

 

Sometimes he would stack Wooseoks pens and rubbers and rulers on top of each other during a lecture, just to see how high would he get the tower before it fell and grumbled, just to see how long it would take before the professor would snap at him to stop playing around like a little kid. 

 

Sometimes he liked to practice his choreographies in the apartment, putting on an extra show when someone would quietly come and watch. They all loved to watch him dance and he knew that. Shinwon and Hongseok would sit on the floor and Kino would over-exaggerate the movements of his body, make them just a little more sexual than originally. Catching Shinwon’s eyes, seeing him swallow, his throat running dry, Kino would smirk and dance even harder. He knew he would get a reward in the end. His hyungs liked to take care of their babies.

 

Kino’s want to test his limits followed him everywhere. After finishing his choreography for the third time, sweaty and tired, Hongseok would lift him up and carry him to the biggest bedroom, throwing him onto the bed while praising him for dancing so good for his hyungs. 

 

Twenty, sixty, seventy minutes passed, Kino’s hair getting massaged by Wooseok, Hui telling him how  _ good  _ he is, Hongseok and Shinwon  _ right there, _ so close, touching every part of his body. Kino was even more sweaty and tired, overstimulated, and content. But it wasn’t enough for him. He wanted more, always more. He could take more, he knew he could. 

 

“But hyung, can’t I try and test my limit? See how far I can go”, Kino insisted the minute Hongseok wasn’t touching him anymore, his hooded eyes barely open, but looking right at Hongseok’s, briefly wondering lover to his abs. 

 

“I don’t want you to get hurt, baby”, Hongseok bit his lip, worried.

 

“If I think I’m going to get hurt I’ll stop, I promise.” Kino reached for him, impatient.

 

Hongseok looked at Hui, who was sitting next to the bed with the seven others, everyone’s eyes waiting for Hui’s permission. “Okay”, he finally said, “Okay. But one word, and that’s it. You’ve had more than enough for one day, Kino-ah. Don’t overwork yourself.” Kino smiled at him, thankful, and nodded.

 

With Kino insisting Hongseok to “stop being so damn careful”, and Wooseok nearly losing his shit over how wrecked Kino looked, all the while everyone praised Kino’s body, their good boy, Kino didn’t last long. But oh, was it all worth it. 

 

 


	4. Your voice makes forests grow in my mind

 

 

Coming from another country was never really a problem for Yuto. Sure, he struggled with his korean still some days, getting frustrated when he couldn’t find the right word. But the others were patient with him, letting him take his time and helping him. 

 

Yuto coming from another country and speaking a foreign language wasn’t a problem for Yeo One either. Except for when it was. Yuto’s deep voice mixed with japanese really was a weak point for him. Two of the maknaes were known for their deep-as-hell voices, making Hui and Jinho laugh at their morning voices, which were hardly even heard, that’s how deep they sounded. Yeo One wouldn’t laugh. He was busy breathing and thinking calming thoughts so he wouldn’t be late for college. 

 

It didn’t take long for the others to notice. Yuto was obvious to the effect he had on Yeo One, even when the others started to tease Yeo One about it. Hui would ask, or command, because it was Hui, the leader, whose words weigh more than anyone else’s without him even meaning to, ever so sweetly;

 

“Yuto-ah, won’t you talk to us in japanese again. It sounds so good when you talk like that.” Hui smirked, looking straight at Yeo One, who was sitting on a couch with his laptop, trying to work on his school assignment. Hearing Hui’s words, Yeo One’s eyes shot a panicked look at Hui. Hui just winked at him and laid a hand on Yuto’s thigh, massaging it gently. 

 

Yuto looked a bit confused, but complied nevertheless. He spoke low, hesitant at first, not quite knowing what he should say or what Hui wanted him to say, or why. Over time he got more confident, speaking faster and talking about everything that came to mind, about the weather, about his home farway, about school, about how korean was illogical if you asked him. Hui hummed at all the right places to keep him going, waiting.

 

Yeo One was trying to focus, he really was, but his knuckles hung tighter onto the edge of his laptop, his fingers twitching and mind escaping, running and jumping, drowning into Yuto’s voice. His voice was beautiful, sexy and cute at the same time. Yeo One’s eyes closed without his permission, mind running, running farther into the forest Yuto made for him, in his mind. 

 

When Yuto finally stopped, running out of things to say, Hui thanked him with a kiss on the cheek and walked away, leaving Yeo One alone with Yuto. Yeo One slowly opened his eyes to find Yuto looking at him, cocking an eyebrow. Yeo One abandoned his laptop for good, giving up with a sigh and getting up to curl half on Yuto’s lap, laying his head down on his lap. Yuto’s hands came up to tangle into his hair automatically, a habit. 

 

“Tell me about that one time again. In japanese, please”, Yeo One asked, voice shy, not looking at Yuto. Yuto didn’t question which time he was exactly talking about, finally understanding a bit better, and he talked. 

 

 


	5. Still growing

 

 

There is a secret behind how Wooseok managed to grow so tall. He always used to steal everyone’s food as a kid, climbing onto the breakfast table and eating sugar straight of the jar. It’s a habit that stuck, not the sugar eating (at least not that he admits), but the food stealing. His long arms reach for others plates, even when he himself still has a full plate. Shinwon hits him in the head and yells at him, but Kino just giggles and let’s him eat from his plate. His excuse is that he still hasn’t stop growing, when Hongseok blames him for stealing pieces of his chicken behind his back and emptying the cookie storages. 

 

On christmas eve, they literally had to always have someone keeping an eye on Wooseok, so he wouldn’t empty the christmas tree from edible decorations or eat all of the chocolate boxes by himself. But when Hui and Hongseok got a little too invested in the board game they were playing, Wooseok sneaks to the sweets. 

 

“Wooseok! You lil shit, wait till I catch you!” Hongseok yells, running after Wooseok. Wooseok shrieks, taking the chocolate box and running as fast as he can around the house. Quickly everyone joins the maknae hunt, running and screaming after him. But they’re laughing, E’Dawn hopping onto Yuto’s back and shouting like he’s going to war with his noble horse, Jinho throwing pillows, first trying to hit Wooseok, but after realizing he’s too fast for that, changing his victim to Hui. 

 

Wooseok runs upstairs, hiding in one of the closets. He listens, hearing his heartbeat calm down from all the running and the adrenaline. But he doesn’t hear footsteps getting closer. Sure, there’s lots of yelling and screaming, and laughing, but it’s all still coming from downstairs. He puts a toffee filled chocolate in his mouth. Maybe they didn’t see where he went? The chocolate melts in his mouth.

 

Wooseok slowly opens the closet door. Nothing. He tiptoes halfway down the stairs and is met with feathers all around him. A pillow hits him in the head.

 

“Oh, Wooseok-ah! Our lil thief, did you come begging for mercy?”, Hui asks, a pillow in his hands and clearly out of breath. On the left Wooseok sees E’Dawn still on Yuto’s back, fighting Shinwon and Yanan with a pillow. On the right, Yeo One is laying on the carpet, his face red from laughing, Kino and Jinho high-fiving over their victory. Wooseok is a little confused. 

 

“Aegyo, aegyo!” Hongseok starts chanting when he catches his breath and sees Wooseok there with a lot more empty chocolate box, Yeo One joining in. Wooseok sighs, knowing what’s his fate. They have a rule, which is a pain in the ass for Wooseok. Whenever someone acts against someone, eats someone’s yoghurt (Jinho’s) or cinnamon cereal (Yuto’s), or does something else others find punnishable, they have to do aegyo. Wooseok thinks it’s unfair, letting Kino free from stealing his chocolate cereal too easy, aegyo coming to him naturally. It’s unfair, because they never get to see Hongseok’s aegyo, mainly because he has made most of the rules and never breaks them. ‘Someone has to show the kids a good example’, he says. But Wooseok knows it’s just because he can’t do aegyo. Except that he can, all of them have a soft spot for Hongseok’s aegyo, it’s kind of adorable. It’s unfair, because Wooseok breaks the rules the most. Because he has to do aegyo the most. And he really hates it.

 

“But hyung, I left some for you! I’m still growing!” Wooseok whines, but he’s already preparing his puppy eyes. They won’t let him go free. Never have. 

 

“C’mon, it’s not that bad”, Yeo One comes to his side, sliding a hand on his waist. “We just love our giant maknae acting like the baby he actually is.” Yeo One kisses him on the cheek. Wooseok sighs and tunes his voice to aegyo-level. 

 

“I promise~ not to eat everything in the house anymore~” he sing-songs, blinking his eyes at them. Hui coos at him and E’Dawn makes gagging sounds, and Wooseok is forgiven. Like always.

 

 


	6. Home is a feeling

 

 

Affection is everywhere in their apartment, in their life. After the first nights of sleeping on the living room floor got uncomfortable, they dragged all three double beds together. After Jinho dropped on the floor in between the beds, they nailed them together. So they could have everyone breathing the same air. So they could have and give all the affection in the world.

 

They still respond to affection differently. Hui and Kino like to touch and kiss the others at any and every given opportunity. Their hands always rest on others’ knees or reach out to hold warm hands. When they laugh, they bury their giggles into others necks. PDA doesn’t bother them. Affection is a way of life for Hui and Kino.

 

Yanan and Jinho still get shy sometimes. Sometimes Yanan pecks Wooseok when they’re doing the groceries, just cause he can, just cause Wooseok looks handsome that particular day. And it’s not Wooseok who blushes at that, but Yanan, turning adorably pink and smiles at the ground. Wooseok just laughs at him and holds his hand a little tighter. Sometimes the tall and strong ones like to pick up Jinho, just to show everyone how tiny he really is. Jinho always squeals at them, yelling Yuto or Hongseok to put him down, but really he’s just proving the point; Jinho is cute. When Yuto tells him just that, he tries to deny it, but ends up tripping on his words. 

 

Then there's the tough bad boys, Yuto, Wooseok and E’Dawn. They try to act as if they don't crave affection like the others, but everyone has learnt that it’s a big fat lie. Yuto always snuggles into the nearest person around, it has become a habit he doesn't even think about anymore before doing.

 

But Yeo One has a special relationship with affection. He doesn't do pda as much as others, maybe, he doesn't use any possible excuse to touch others, but he craves for it, so much. When he goes home for the holidays, he’s on the edge of suffocating after just a few days without his boys. Of course he doesn't say anything, but the others notice. He gets quiet, doesn't text back or want to skype. When he does answer, it’s usually just emojis. Yeo One just feels so empty inside when he’s forced to sleep alone, to have breakfast without someone playing footsie with him under the table. But he doesn't want to sound needy or obsessed, so he stays quiet. 

 

When he finally does get back, he doesn't run to hug them. He doesn't kiss Hui, who opens the door for him. He just breathes in the air, the smell of his actual home, and when Hui holds him against his chest, he lets himself melt into the hug. “Welcome home”, Hui whispers to him. 

 

During their movie night, Yeo One isn’t abnormally touchy. Yanan is behind him, holding him close and twisting his fingers absemindly in his soft hair. Yeo One has no idea what's happening on the screen in front of him, he’s more interested in the domestic intimacy of it all. He closes his eyes and tries to get even closer to Yanan, holding Yanan’s other hand that’s not in his hair tighter. He can't see Yanan’s face but he knows he’s smiling at him. Yeo One feels tears forming behind his eyelids. It’s this overwhelming feeling, love and happiness, the sense of finding your place in the world, home. The feeling that words can’t describe. 

 

“I need to pee”, Yanan announces later. He tries to gently get Yeo One to let go of his hand, but Yeo One’s grip only gets tighter. “Babe, what’s wrong?” Yanan asks, worried. The screen flashes and he sees Yeo One’s face in the dark, tears running quietly on his cheeks. Panic rises in Yanan’s chest, but he just combs Yeo One’s hair, trying to comfort him with his movements.

 

Yanan isn’t the only one who noticed. Yeo One feels Jinho’s finger wiping his tears away, his small hand taking his free one and intertwining their fingers. Yanan and Jinho hold him between their bodies, engulfing him. They don't say anything, they don't need to. Yeo One slowly starts to calm down, to feel safer, less overwhelmed. Home. He’s okay, he’s safe, he’s not alone. Yeo One lets got of Yanan, but he doesn’t move for another ten minutes. When he finally has to actually go to the wc, Hui quietly moves in his place. They don’t let go of Yeo One until he’s asleep, and not even then. 

 

 


	7. Lullabies

 

 

“Hyung, I can’t sleep”, Shinwon complained to Hui in the middle of one night. Hui had already been half asleep, dreaming, but he hums, hugging Shinwon’s broad but slim shoulders half-heartedly. It isn’t the first time Shinwon had had trouble sleeping. Last time Hui made hot chocolate for him. It didn’t work. Hui is running out of ideas. 

 

“Oh, Shinwon-ah, what should we do with you?” Hui asked, softly, from no one in particular. They were probably all asleep anyway. 

 

Or not. In the pitch black quiet, Shinwon heard Jinho cough quietly and then, he sang. Uncertainly and stumbling at first, but the farther he got into the song, he got more confident. It was an english song Shinwon didn’t know the words to, but he didn’t mind. 

 

By the time Jinho had got to the chorus, Shinwon was completely relaxed against Hui, his eyes closed and a small smile on his lips. Jinho’s voice was so beautiful, he could turn black to white with it. Starting the chorus, Hongseok’s voice joined Jinho’s, sleepy but still as sweet as always. Shinwon was a little surprised he was still awake, as Hongseok was usually an early and heavy sleeper. Their soft harmonies made his smile only grow.

 

The song had to eventually end and Shinwon didn’t know whether to clap, cry or kiss them thank you. “Thank you, hyungs”, he settled for. 

 

Hui was the next one to choose a song. It was one of his own, Shinwon recognized immediately. He leaned his head against Hui’s chest and felt his voice rise deep from his chest, rising and falling at the same pace with him. Jinho came up with him in some points he knew the words to, but only slight snoring was heard from Hongseok anymore. Still, the two hyungs’ singing made Shinwon feel like he had died and went to heaven, imagining bright oceans and endless galaxies behind his eyelids. And slowly, his mind and body started to weigh more and more and he fell asleep. All the while smiling. 

 

Hui ended his song and felt Shinwon breathing steadily against him. It didn’t take long for him to follow.

 

Since that night they always sang at nightfall, making sure everyone, even Shinwon, would drift off somewhere safe and warm, only good dreams, only soft thoughts and wishes for another day like before. 

 

 


	8. Mine

 

 

When you were in poly-relationship with nine others, you wouldn’t think to get jealous easily. And they rarely did, when it was just them. Sure, they were times when Shinwon thought Hui hang off Kino too often, never leaving his side and not letting others sit next to Kino at dinner, but that was quickly solved. Shinwon boldly told Hui that while everyone loved their sunshine child Kino, he was feeling left out and he missed them both. From then on Hui made sure not to forget anyone, ‘cause in all honesty, he was the one suffering the most from it. He loved all of his, equally. Or almost equally. E’Dawn still hold a special place in his heart, but that’s another story, and everyone respected their relationship. Also because the two of them looked so good together.

 

But when it came to people outside of their group, things got a little complicated sometimes. Wooseok was the one who got jealous the most and others’ could smell it on him the second it happened. The air got a little darker, Wooseok’s fist would curl a little tighter, biting his teeth together. There was something dangerous in their maknae’s eyes then, like jealousy was a living, breathing thing that conquered all of him. He forgot everything else and got reckless. Fortunately there was usually someone to keep an eye on him when that happened. 

 

“I wonder why we haven’t put you on a leash yet”, Hui joked. But there was truth behind it. And not only because Wooseok liked to be tied down. 

 

There was truth behind it, because there was a time when there wasn’t anyone to hold Wooseok back. There was a time his jealousy got out of hand, dangerous. There was a time he saw Yeo One giggling against a guy’s shoulder and a time when he walked up to the guy and punched him straight to the jaw. Thankfully his jaw only bruised and Yeo One was smart enough to drag the yelling Wooseok home quickly. 

 

“Hot”, Kino commented when Yeo One told the story later.

 

“You’re fucking grounded”, Hongseok scolded Wooseok, to which Wooseok grumbled back “You’re not my fucking mother”.

 

“Do we need to give you a lesson about how violence is never the answer?”, Hui said, half joking, half worried. Wooseok promised to be more controlled from then on, but mumbled: “But he didn’t see how he looked at Yeo One hyung, like he wanted to fucking devour him.”

 

None of them were prepared for Hui to get out of hand though. Hui was usually the one who kept them all in check, who hold people back from fighting with anyone, who took care of them. Because they were his. And for that reason jealousy burned deep within him when others’ came too close to what was his. 

 

She was pretty, all dark lipstick and red curls, heels as high as her self-esteem, nails manicured to impress. Her laughter rang in the air when E’Dawn said something apparently  _ so funny _ to her. She leaned in closer to him. Hui’s stare only dig deeper into the back of her head. 

 

Anyone could see that E’Dawn wasn’t interested. He talked to her, sure, he told jokes and smiled at him, polite, because she was his senior. And E’Dawn was a good kid, he respected his elders. Plus he didn’t have anything better to do in this party anyway. Hui had gone to dance with Kino and disappeared.

 

But anyone could also see that she was interested. She clearly didn’t see that E’Dawn was already taken. Hui tried to signal her through telepathy that E’Dawn was  _ his _ . She clearly didn’t hear the signal he was sending her; maybe she wasn’t into Twice. Or just didn’t care enough. Hui’s insides were on fire and he saw red. 

 

“Hyung, are you okay?”, Kino asked, looking into Hui’s black eyes. It was so unlike him that it was a little scary to see. Their always kind and sweet Hui, in a state like this. Kino put his arms around Hui’s middle, trying to ground him, but Hui only pushed him away. Kino was so shocked he stayed glued to the floor and watched numbly as Hui walked up to E’Dawn and the girl. 

 

“Sorry, sweetie, but he’s with me.” Hui slung his arm around E’Dawn’s, possessive. E’Dawn looked at him, surprised, a small spark in his eyes, a challenge. “Or actually, he’s mine”, Hui corrected himself while staring right into E’Dawn’s eyes. A small shudder run through E’Dawn. It was a rare thing to see Hui get so possessive like this, but E’Dawn liked it way too much. 

 

“Oh yeah? Yours, huh?”, E’Dawn said, cocky. “Prove it, then”, he whispered, his voice all husky, and really it was all the prompting Hui needed. He attacked E’Dawn’s mouth and hold onto his shirt so hard E’Dawn was scared it would rip. 

 

In the end Kino had to drag both of their asses into a taxi, even though it was a bit of a shame to stop their make-out session. It was getting a bit too heated for a public place, Hui rumbling on and on about how E’Dawn was his, only his, how they were all his, so Kino had to look at the common good rather than his own. When E’Dawn’s neck and his whole upper chest were filled with faint bruises the next morning, no one asked any questions. They just looked at each other knowingly. 

 

 


	9. Cover me in glass and silk

 

 

There was a huge mirror on their living room wall, a mirror so big it almost stretched out throughout the whole wall. It was installed there so they could all put on their make-up at the same time on mornings, not having to fight for the tiny wc-mirror, and so Kino could practice dancing in their apartment too, and because Hongseok liked seeing himself when they had sex.

 

Hongseok hadn’t always been so pretty. As a kid, no one ever crushed on him. But puberty did things, amazing magic tricks to his body, and with a lot of time spent in the gym, Hongseok was really confident in his face and body nowadays. So confident that the others always teased him for it. And that was before they knew.

 

Hongseok didn’t tell them about the mirror thing. Couldn’t, because he was embarrassed. He didn’t even know about this _ thing _ of his before one time he and Yuto crashed into Kino’s dance studio at school. Maybe they had an ulterior motive behind their visit and maybe seeing Kino in his dance shorts, sweat dripping down his chest, didn’t help. So things escalated, as they do. 

 

The walls were plastered with mirrors and they couldn’t help but see themselves and the others in the glass, clear as day. None of them looked away from their reflection, too hot and too captivating. But Hongseok lost himself completely in front of the mirrors. He loved everything he saw; Yuto’s and Kino’s size difference, the faces they made and the angles he hadn’t seen before. He loved seeing the three of them together, from an outsider’s view. He loved seeing Kino’s well build but lean body and Yuto’s muscles flexing under his skin. But his eyes always wondered back on himself in the mirror. His eyes run down his own body, his biceps and abs, the muscles in his thighs. He looked at himself as he caressed Kino’s smooth but hard thighs and as he kissed Yuto. He watched himself blow Kino. And he watched himself come after just five minutes. 

 

After that Hongseok felt guilty, embarrassed over his feelings, but he also craved to go back to the dance studio. He missed the huge mirrors in their apartment. It was still good, but the pictures stayed in his head. And he couldn’t tell the others. Just couldn’t.

 

A few weeks later Kino suggested they would film it. Hui agreed and no one opposed, so it was a deal. Hongseok didn’t say anything, but his heart skipped in his chest and he couldn’t sit still for the rest of the night. Hongseok wasn’t sure if Kino  _ knew _ , and he wasn’t brave enough to look at him in the eye to find out. 

 

Everything went well, according to the plan. Yanan and Shinwon were shy around the camera and it took a long time for them to fully relax. Kino and Hui put extra effort into it, being louder and bending farther than usual. But Hongseok was having a hard time with it. Quite literally. Because he was a bit too into it. He had barely even been touched and he was already a whimpering mess, unable to think about anything else but the camera sitting on a table next to the bed. Hui laughed at him. At first he thought Hongseok was just acting for a good show, but it quickly got clear to him that he wasn’t. That Hongseok really was that affected by it. Hui’s throat felt suddenly very dry.

 

“Hongseok-ah, look at yourself. So, ah, so worked up just from this”, Hui said, dragging his hands down Hongseok’s broad chest. It made all the hair on Hongseok’s body rise up and he moaned. 

 

“Bet he won’t last for long, right babe?”, E’Dawn teased Hongseok, leaning down to bite his lip, hard. Hongseok cried out, not only because it stung, but because it was all getting to him, fast. He felt whiplashed. “Bet we wouldn’t even need to touch him”.

 

But they just couldn’t keep their hands to themselves when Hongseok was like this right in front of them. Jinho peppered his body with tiny kisses and Yanan teased him, running his hands so close to where Hongseok wanted them, but not nearly close enough. Hongseok tried to buck up into the touch, but Yuto held his hips down into the mattress. Sweat run down his neck. 

 

When it looked like Hongseok had had enough of teasing, E’Dawn put his mouth to use and Wooseok flicked his nipples. Hongseok whimpered and moaned, and Yuto really struggled to keep him grounded. Hui was almost afraid E’Dawn would choke if Yuto’s death grip would loosen up. 

 

“Maybe we should just tie him down the next time”, Jinho said. 

 

“Ah, yes, let’s do that, please, hyung”, Wooseok moaned breathily from where he was being jerked off by Shinwon. 

 

“Or maybe you should be tied up”, Jinho laughed at him. Wooseok didn’t laugh, he just moaned a “please, hyung” and scraped his nails down Shinwon’s thighs, desperate.

 

“Hey, ouch, okay, okay, we will, stop abusing me or I’ll stop!” Shinwon said to him, smirking when Wooseok begged him not to stop.

 

E’Dawn had been right, and Hongseok didn’t last long. He threw his head back and arched his back, his hair a mess and voice raspy from all the moaning. E’Dawn swallowed around him and Yuto let him go from his grip once he relaxed against the bed. 

 

“Oh my god”, was all Hui could say looking at the state Hongseok was in. All in all, it was a very successful night for them. Especially for Hongseok.

 

One day, Yuto catched Hongseok watching the video by himself, sitting in his boxers on the bathroom floor. 

 

“Why watch this when you could get the real thing any time you like”, he would joke, but he knew why. They all knew exactly why. That’s why they decided to get the huge mirror onto the wall. And the video, well, it surely wasn’t the last one. No one could really complain.

 

 


	10. what do you mean this is not a compound

 

 

Hongseok was a pain in the ass, if you asked Yanan. He worked so hard to learn this new, weird language and still Hongseok attacked his every little mistake. Yanan studied Korean to make his life easier, you know, but sometimes he wished he wouldn’t be. Just so Hongseok couldn’t yell at him to ‘speak properly’. Yanan would just curse at him in Chinese and Jinho giggled at him, the only one who understood.

 

In the beginning, Yanan didn’t even bother trying to talk to them much. “Did you sleep well?”, Jinho would ask him at breakfast. “Toast on bacon, please”, Yanan would mumble back, in chinese, rubbing sleep from his eyes. “I mean, eggs. With toast. Or bacon. Or both?”, he rambled. When he was met with blank stares from the others, he realized they couldn’t understand. Of course they didn’t. Yanan wanted to smack himself in the head.

 

But Jinho took his much larger hand into his smaller one and rubbed circles into the back of his palm, smiling. Yanan’s wound up muscles relaxed and he managed to find some korean vocabulary in his head, the holes he tried to fill with english but it wasn’t really working. 

 

Jinho had studied chinese earlier on in school for a year or two, but he wasn’t very good and had given up. But Yanan had only been a few weeks with them and Jinho announced he was taking chinese lessons again. Shinwon and Wooseok giggled at him, saying he was already whipped for Yanan. Jinho tried to deny it, but couldn’t. Yanan was a big cuddly child who deserved all the best in the world.

 

“Okay, that’s it”, Hongseok said one day weeks later. Yanan had been studying korean after school everyday and with the others helping him, he was getting better. But he struggled. “I’m going to teach you myself”, Hongseok announced and Yanan wasn’t given the opportunity to turn his offer down.

 

So every night, Hongseok’s korean-class was in session. Sometimes Yuto joined them. Sometimes Yanan fell asleep in the middle of it all, onto his school book or curling into Hongseok’s lap. Hongseok tried to be mad about it, but looking at Yanan sleeping softly on him, he couldn’t find it in him. Yanan was just too cute. So Hongseok would carry Yanan to the closest beanbag, trying not to jostle him too much. That’s how Hui would find them later, Yanan snoring slightly and Hongseok asleep behind him, spooning him close. 

 

Yanan would learn something new everyday, though. His puns made Wooseok groan at him, blaming Hongseok for corrupting one more pure soul. Hongseok got sloppy with his lessons, proud of Yanan for learning so fast and when Yanan complained about how tired he was after school, Hongseok gave in and their lessons became a rare thing. That didn’t mean Hongseok wouldn’t still correct his mistakes whenever he noticed them. 

 

“Ouch! You’ve got all grown up, haven’t you? Speaking like a pro, although your spelling is still awful, and punching your hyung. I think my arm’s bruised”, Hongseok complained when Yanan hit his arm after he had once again pointed out how he can’t just combine words together to make them a compound, to give them a whole new meaning. 

 

“Shut up, hyung. It’s funny”, Wooseok would laugh, slinging an arm around Yanan. Yanan would blush, giggling against Wooseok’s chest. Hongseok couldn’t do anything but smile at him fondly. He really was getting soft. Whipped.

 

 


	11. For you, always

 

 

“Hyung?” Wooseok had walked into the toilet, not bothering to knock, and stopped in his tracks as he saw Shinwon sitting on the floor, curled into a ball in on himself, hands covering his face. “Is everything alright?”, Wooseok asked, even though he already knew the answer. It wasn’t like Shinwon sat on toilet floors everyday.

 

Shinwon just hold himself tighter and shook his head, sniffing. He had been crying. Or was still crying. Wooseok felt a bang of pain in the left side of his chest. Shinwon flinched when Wooseok laid a hand on his shoulder. Wooseok took his hand away, hurt. How hadn’t he noticed Shinwon was hurting? How long had he been here, alone, before he even noticed? Was it something he had done? Had someone hurt him?

 

“Hyung. You know you can lean on me anytime, right? You know I’ll protect you, always, right?” Wooseok said, his voice quiet and shaky. He didn’t know what to do with himself, scared Shinwon would just shake his arms away if he tried to hug him. Maybe he should just leave him alone. Maybe that’s what Shinwon wanted; privacy, which was hard to get in their house. But how could he do that, not now.

 

“Or is it me?” Wooseok whispered when Shinwon didn’t answer. He swallowed tears down, he needed to stay strong for Shinwon. If he needed him, he would give him everything he could. And if he couldn’t, if Shinwon didn’t want him to, well. Wooseok felt a rock fall into the bottom of his stomach.

 

“No! No, no, Wooseok-ah, how could you even think that when you’ve been nothing but sweet to me”, Shinwon choked out, lifting his head to look at Wooseok. Tears were running down his cheeks. 

 

“Just tell me one thing…”, Shinwon lowered his head again, embarrassed to show himself to their maknae like this; “why me? Why did you pick me into this all? Why did you choose to love me, and not someone else? How can you kiss me goodnight when I’m just...me? I’m nothing special, Wooseok-ah. I’m not beautiful, breathtaking like all of you. I’m-”, Shinwon collapsed mid-sentence, falling down farther to sob into his arms. 

 

Wooseok fell to his knees, catching Shinwon into his arms so he couldn’t hit the bottom of this dark well. He took Shinwon’s hand and intertwined their fingers into one. He cried Shinwon’s tears and felt his pain in his heart. With his other hand, he lift his head up so he could kiss him, deeply, melting the tears into the kiss. “You’re more beautiful than you could ever imagine, hyung.” He whispered into his mouth. “I will become stronger, so you can lean on me when you need me. For you, always.” 

 

Shinwon and Wooseok sat there, against the cold tile wall, lost in each other, crying silent tears; Wooseok for Shinwon, who didn’t believe he deserved them; Shinwon for Wooseok and everyone else, who cared so much for him even when he couldn’t understand why. 

 

“For you, always”, Wooseok whispered one last time into Shinwon’s hair, Shinwon’s head pressed against his chest. When their tears had run out, Wooseok helped Shinwon up and wouldn’t let go of his hand for the whole day, kissing his cheeks whenever he got the chance, slinging his arm around his middle and telling his how cute his laugh was. Shinwon had never felt more loved.

 

 


	12. What kind of person would like mornings anyway

 

 

Jinho loved mornings. They always hold a special atmosphere in their house.

 

Hongseok cooking omelettes for his dongsaengs, and for Jinho and Hui too, of course. He always insisted on listening to cheerful pop songs, usually girl groups or KARD, singing along to them and hopping to the beat. Kino looked at him with suffering in his eyes; mornings weren’t his thing. But Hongseok only insisted it was the only way to wake up right. E’Dawn and Shinwon fighting over who got to butter their toast first. Yeo One telling everyone excitedly about his dream, where he usually was singing on stage, in front of thousands of people yelling his name. Usually only Yanan and Hui listened. But even though Jinho didn’t look like it, he was listening, imagining sometimes Yeo One, sometimes himself, sometimes all ten of them on stage. He felt like somewhere, in some timeline, that was the truth. But right now, he was content just like this; no stress, no pressure, but enough admiration from the nine of his lovers. 

 

Kino hated mornings. He was always tired, as his nights usually went a bit long, either because of homework, dance practices or making music because he got an inspiration at one AM, and loud noises annoyed him. Usually Hongseok dancing to TT was hilarious to him and he would jump on the chance and join him, but sometimes it was just too early for that. So he ‘sulked’, as the others called it, and ate his omelette in quiet, retreating to his room to wake up.

 

Kino lived for nighttime, when he could put on Hongseok’s baggy shorts and steal Shinwon’s or Wooseok’s too-big t-shirt and wash off the day from his skin, feel reborn and fresh. He could put on his playlist and sing along to the soft songs, sometimes taking a few dance steps, creating a choreography as he went, spinning and stumbling into someone’s arms on accident, laughing and holding onto their arms. 

 

Sometimes Kino felt freedom burst through him, the endless possibilities crossing in his mind. Somenights he wanted to do something crazy, just because he could. Tonight all he wanted was to see the night sea, roaring, alive, so something else. 

 

“Hyung. Let’s go to the sea”, Kino said to Hui, batting his eyes at him, “I’ll drive”.

 

Hui sighed, “Kino-ah, not tonight, I just want to sleep”, he said, apologetic.

 

“Fine. Dawnie-hyung, let’s goo~!”, Kino yelled upstairs, didn’t want to go alone. E’Dawn was known for being always up for adventure. And his reputation wasn’t for nothing, because a few seconds later E’Dawn was running down the stairs, grabbing his coat and sitting on the passenger’s seat in front, ready to go. He was munching on popcorn which Kino had no idea where it came from. Kino grinned at him, stole a piece of popcorn, pressed play on his playlist for night rides and started the car.

 

“Oh! This is Hui-hyungs song!”, Kino squaeled when Runaway started playing; a song Hui had composed and sold to some rookie group. It sounded good, but so much better when Hui was singing it. Kino sang along loudly, E’Dawn making up freestyle rap on top of the track’s rap parts. Kino laughed at him and his ridiculous rap about bees.

 

“Don’t try to understand the poetry in my head”, was E’Dawn’s only explanation for his lyrics. 

 

“Take me out, please hold me, In my heart, in your dreams, awaken the stars once again, wake up”, Kino rapped when it was his turn. He wasn’t really a rapper like E’Dawn, but it didn’t matter here. He didn’t mean it to sound so true, but it did. They sat quiet for awhile, E’Dawn laying his hand on top of Kino’s and making small patterns onto his skin.

 

“Do you ever wish Hui would keep his songs? Keep them for us, so we would be the only ones knowing them, so we could make them ours and no one else’s?”, Kino asked quietly. Kino composed songs himself sometimes, but he didn’t sell them, barely even showed them to the others. They were somehow too personal for even himself. It felt like it was someone else making them and when he listened to them afterwards, he almost got scared of himself, not recognizing his own voice and lyrics. But he kind of liked the feeling, knowing there was something more inside of him, something he didn’t know yet.

 

“Sometimes”, E’Dawn answered, staring out of the window. “We’re here”. They had made it to the beach and that was it for the conversation. Kino didn’t mind dropping the subject. It made his head hurt. 

 

They got out and E’Dawn switched the song to an obnoxious loud, powerful song. They started running, without a word, screaming and yelling, laughing and dancing. E’Dawn hopped onto Kino’s back and challenged him to run into the freezing waves. Kino did, only to drop E’Dawn into the shallow water, making him curse at him. E’Dawn tried to chase him down, but Kino was in a better shape than him, and E’Dawn only managed to tire himself out. 

 

“Dust-hyung~”, Kino teased him when he collapsed next to E’Dawn onto the beach sand. E’Dawn rolled onto him, biting his neck and giving up, kissing Kino softer than usually, slow and delicate. Kino hummed, enjoying this rare side of E’Dawn they didn’t get to see often.

 

“You look really pretty right now, hyung”, Kino said to E’Dawn, who was hovering above him, moon shining onto his blond hair. 

 

“I know”, E’Dawn answered with a straight face and went back to kissing him. 

 

Minuted, hours or days later they dragged themselves back to the car, curling to the backseat. The car’s radio was playing  _ Paris in the rain, _ a slow, beautiful song. Kino closed his eyes and listened to the waves, to the song, to E’Dawns breathing. It really did feel like something else. 

 

With Kino sleeping on his chest, E’Dawn dragged his phone out from his coat pocket; messages were waiting for him; Hongseok asking if they crashed their car, Hui asking if they were still alive, Wooseok asking if they’re fucking without him, Yanan asking if he stole his popcorn. E’Dawn almost just answered  _ yes  _ to all of them. 

 

E’Dawn grinned into the dark and typed out “Still alive” to their groupchat. “Very alive”, he added. 

 

 


	13. Candles and Rose petals

 

Yanan woke up to the sound of six singing happy birthday to him in perfect tune. Yanan woke up to the sound of three singing happy birthday to him, some more in tune (Wooseok, Yuto) than others (E’Dawn. He didn’t even try.). It was 9.30 AM on a tuesday and most of them had had lectures since an hour ago, but apparently someone had turned off his alarm. He couldn’t be anything but grateful, though. 

 

“Good this week’s last tuesday, Yanan-ah!”, Jinho shouted excitedly and jumped half on his chest. Only once Yanan had some more air in his lungs again (thankfully Jinho was very tiny and didn’t weigh much) did he realize they were singing in chinese. His chest felt tighter once again, filled with love.

 

“I made you peanut butter toast and waffles with strawberries!” Kino grinned and presented a huge tray loaded with heavenly-smelling food. Yanan wanted to cry out of happiness. 

 

“Wow, guys, you’ve really gone all out for this one,” Yanan laughed, though his voice came out a bit weak, like he had been crying, which he hadn’t. Yet. 

 

“Everything for our Shanghai prince. And, you know, since you couldn’t go home this year…”, Yeo One said, taking his hand in his. 

 

“Thank you. Really. Couldn’t wish for anything more when I have you.”

 

“Okay, slow down, let’s not make Shinwon cry again,” Wooseok said and glanced over at Shinwon, but it was too late. He was trying to hide his wet eyes but it was obvious. Yanan laughed at him and fed him a strawberry.

 

Yanan thought they’d run out of tricks for his birthday by six pm, after they’d only played his favourite songs and made a too-sweet cake for him, after they had all kissed him senseless and spoiled him with little gifts, jokbal and chocolate, but he was wrong. 

 

“I can’t wait anymore, please let him see it already!”, Kino whined to Hui when the night fell on them. 

 

“Okay, okay, fine. Yanan-ah, there’s something for you in the bathroom.”

 

Yanan laughed, expecting maybe another ridiculous cake or something like that. He opened the door to find the bathroom lit with what seemed like a hundred lilac and blue candles, roses on vases and their petals floating everywhere. And there, right in front of him, was a bathtub. And not any small one, but spacious enough for at least four of them. Yanan had always wanted a bathtub as a kid. He never got one. Except now. The tears he had been holding since the morning finally fell. He started laughing, laughter and tears mixing with each other. It was hard to breathe with how much he was feeling, his love for his boys could’ve filled tens of bathtubs.

 

“A bathtub? It isn’t just a fake one, is it?” Yanan asked, but no one answered. They’d all gathered behind him, waiting for him to test it out himself. He could feel Kino trying to get him to hurry so he could join, too polite to say anything out loud. Or maybe Jinho was keeping a hand on his mouth, so he wouldn’t “ruin the moment”. 

 

“Are you trying to seduce me or something?” Yanan wondered as he stripped out of his clothes and all but melted into the warm water, surrounded by candles, rose petals and soft music, and of course the people he loved. “‘Cause I’m sold.”

 

“That was the plan,” Yuto said and got hit by Yeo One, the romantic. 

 

“Okay, kids. You can stop trying to act you don’t want to try it too,” Yanan said and giggled as Kino and Shinwon half-screamed in excitement, getting rid of their clothes in super-speed and splashing water on the floor as they got in the bath. A bit behind them was Yeo One and Hongseok. The bathtub was starting to feel a bit crowded. Yanan didn’t mind, reaching out to help Hongseok into the tub and onto his lap, smiling as he leaned back to kiss him when he felt Yanan’s hand resting on his abs. Smug little shit.

 

Yanan looked at the rest of them standing there looking abandoned and couldn’t let them stay at the other side of the fence. He wanted everyone to get to enjoy the greener grass and all that. “Okay, let’s try it. Everyone, come in!”

 

Jinho and Hui exchanged looks and shrugged. It was the last tuesday of this week, after all. That only happens once a week. So why the hell not.

 

Giggling filled the room, water slowly getting colder and mostly on the floor, limbs filling the bathtub instead. But they managed to get all ten of them into it and what’s more important a victory and a good time? (“The cake that’s still sitting on the kitchen table half-eaten,” would Wooseok answer to this one.)

 

“Where’s Wooseok?” 

 

Two seconds later Wooseok run in with his mouth full and cream around his mouth.

 

 


End file.
